Growing up in our home you didn’t talk about certain subjects. Sex or anything pertaining to sex was a major taboo subject. Even talking about what was happening to our bodies was not talked about. The day I got my period I knew what was happening, thanks to the day at school in fourth grade when they separated the boys from the girls and showed us corny movies about our changing bodies and demonstrated how to use feminine products. I remember thinking if that is what it’s like growing up, I’d rather stay a kid!
It happened on a Sunday afternoon, I was home alone, my parents were down the street at our neighbors house having coffee as they often did. In my unwarranted shame of discovering that I no longer was a child, I threw away my soiled panties, hoping to make it go away, ashamed that this horrible thing was happening to me. I remembered where my mom stashed her supply of Stayfree maxi pads and helped myself to one. I believed I could keep my secret from everyone. No one would see the difference in me. Not even my mother. How foolish a child I was.
My little fantasy didn’t last very long. My mother knew there was something different going on with me shortly upon returning home. Could it have been the way I was acting? Guilt and shame were written all over my face I’m sure. If you are a parent, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Or could it have been the evidence in the garbage can? Or simply that sixth sense we mothers have? All I know, she knew and I was busted! I remember sitting down on her bed and talking about what was going on with my body and what I needed to do to take care of myself. It was a bonding time between mother and daughter and we became closer because of it. I wish I could say after this moment we were open about the subject of sex and all the subjects that come under it but it was not to be. It was not the way she was taught and I certainly do not blame my mother for that. We are only comfortable with the things that we are taught and when certain topics are not freely talked about, then communication is not open, and then there can be miscommunication.
Just like me trying to hide that I was becoming a woman. I was trying to hide the evidence. But there was no hiding. Especially when it comes to being open with God. He sees all, knows all. We try to hide things from Him, we play both sides of the fence. Come on, you know what I mean. If we don’t lay it on the line with Him and tell Him what our needs are, what our problems and our desires are, if we can’t be honest with Him, how is He going to be able to help and bless us? To answer our prayers?
“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jer. 29:12-13
Lately I have been very open and honest with God. I’ve been laying it on the line. When I pray I do so with great abandonment and freedom. I speak to God as if I am speaking to my best friend. I once was intimidated by those who prayed and spoke so eloquently, they seemed to speak to God in a heavenly voice. But I have learned He only wants us to come to Him as we are. So I come to him as plain old me. And believe me, I can be very plain-spoken! That’s what I am doing, that’s what you should do. Forget the “thou’s,” “thee’s” and “ye’s” all he wants is to hear from you in your honest and open voice, lay it out there. No subject is taboo, no request too demanding, nothing is too big or too small. Nothing you say can be too embarrassing or shameful. Whatever you have been taught, just know, He is waiting to hear from you, just like your best friend.
Live, Laugh & Eat healthy
Categories: Lessons From The Side Chair
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